Dear Ovaries,

Hey, it’s me, your human.  I know you got a bum deal in this whole life, having PCOS and all (I’m super sorry about that — genetics are a bitch), but could we talk about this painful exploding feeling we’ve been experiencing lately?

It’s not that I don’t like the feeling of you being bruised and broken after I have sex with my husband, it’s just that I don’t.  It is horrible.  I didn’t even know that cysts could rupture during sex.  Why is that a thing?  We weren’t performing an acrobatic sexual act either. Missionary should not cause exploding ovaries, it’s just not right.

So, when I go to the OB on Wednesday for my ultrasound, let’s not have a million cysts on each ovary.  I mean, I suspect that is not the outcome I’ll have, since I’ve been having ovarian pain for the past few months, but come on, after all we’ve been through!  Is this payback for the Clomid, the IUI’s, and the IVF?  I get it, those things sucked, and I put you through absolute torment trying to make a cute little baby for me to snuggle, but we did it! We made a baby!  She’s amazing and awesome, but she’s very hard to take care of when I want to throw up from ovary pain.  So, let’s make a deal.  You had your fun getting back at me with a rupture during sex.  We are even now.  K?  Love you!  Mean it!

Yours always (or until my super early hysterectomy, which is almost a 100% genetic guarantee),
-Me

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