All Praise The Chiropractor

Well, it wasn’t an aneurysm, or a brain bleed, or even a tumor.  It was a messed up neck and back.

I’ve struggled for a long time with neck, shoulder, and mid-back pain.  It’s getting worse and worse, but every six weeks (sometimes four weeks) I go to the chiropractor, and my pain is immediately healed for a few weeks.  Now that my daughter is growing, getting heavier, and becoming way more demanding of me, my back pain is worse.  Couple that with HUGE BOOBS (I mean, I’m a 34H now, and I was a 34DD before my daughter), and the anxiety that I still have (which is NOTHING compared to where it was before I started taking Magnesium), I get a lot of pain.

I would have never in a million years guessed that all I needed to cure my exploding brain pain during sex was a chiropractic adjustment.  Never.  I still don’t believe it.  First, I help my anxiety with Magnesium?  Seriously??  Then, I am relieved of this tremendous amount of pain by a simple adjustment?  I don’t even know what to say.  It sounds stupid to even write this.  You all are going to think that I’m trying to sell you something.  I mean, I have nothing to sell you, but if you’d like to just give me some money, I’d be okay with that.

I am so sorry to have frightened anyone about my health.  I’m sorry I frightened myself and my husband.  I just had no idea.  Now I know that a messed up alignment can really jack you up, in the worst way possible.  If you suffer from constant headaches, back pain, or neck pain.  RUN, don’t walk, to the best chiropractor in your area and get yourself straightened out (literally).

I’m going to go relax now, or have sex, because I totally can without breaking down into hysterical sobs!  Score!

If It’s Nothing, Why Does It Feel Like Something?

The CT scan came back and said everything looked fine.  No indication of an aneurysm, brain bleed, or tumor.  I have an appointment on Monday with my general practitioner to go over a few things, like my anxiety (he thinks I’m still taking the anti-depressant – I’m not, thank you Magnesium!), and this will now be included.

So what comes next?  A Neurologist?  What will they do?  Will they tell me the same thing the internet is telling me?  That this is just something that happens and there is no explanation for it?  How can something so horrible come out of nowhere AND have no explanation?

Could it just be that there is something wrong with my muscles?  I suffer from back and neck pain, due to having size H boobs that I have to lug around all day, could the pressure of that be causing tension that happens during sex?  Why is it only during sex?  Does this make any sense?

I’m not going to lie…. being a person with a WAY above average sex drive, and not being able to have sex because it feels like your brain is going to explode, is just bad on all levels.  What the hell am I supposed to do if this is just a thing I have to live with?  How do you live with wanting to cry and scream (not in a fun way) when you have sex with your husband??

I’d like for someone to please call me a whambulance, I will be taking a ride in that thing daily for as long as this continues.  I still wonder if there is something wrong that the ct scan didn’t catch.  Maybe an MRI could?  Will they do one?  Will they tell me to suck it up?  Will going to the chiropractor this week help?  Do I need a breast reduction? (Yes, of course I do, but is it because it will help with this too?)

Blerg.  If anyone needs me, I’ll be watching Friends….

It Might Be Nothing…

Today I went to Urgent Care.  I just couldn’t wait to see my doctor tomorrow at 10:15.  I needed to talk to a professional, have my fears put to rest, or validated.  I needed something other than my own fear repeating itself in my head.

On Friday I had one of the worst head pains I’ve had in my entire life, besides three months ago when I had the exact same thing happen.  Last time, though, the event had started with a headache, so I figured the extreme headache/pain was just from over exertion.  You see, the event was that I was having some rocking sex with the hubs.  Last time, I blamed the skull exploding pain on having a headache before all the orgasm fun started.  I mean, orgasms can really take a lot out of you.  Soon after, I forgot about it.  This time though, this time there was no headache.  I felt great, but with each orgasm (if I have one, I have more… it’s like magic), the head pain got worse.  I didn’t black out, but I’d assume I was close.  Ten minutes later the headache had subsided and I fell asleep.  I had a little residual head pain the next day, but the extreme pain haunted me.

I figured it was a fluke.  I’d had this happen once before, maybe it was something I ate, something I had done that day… I just don’t know.  So Saturday we had sex again (PCOS gives me super high sex drive — i’m one of the lucky ones, that’s not super common).  No big O this time, as it was a quicky, but the closer I got to the big O, the worse my head felt. Luckily, no big O meant no brain bursting pain.  Now I was worried.  Why did this happen two days in a row?  Was there something wrong?  No way….

Last night was my birthday.  The hubs was being very generous, again.  I had to stop him because the closer I got, the worse it got.  I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t have an orgasm.  I was so scared of the pain that had already started, and the pain that was coming.  I stopped my husband from “working” and we finished the deed.  As soon as we were done I burst into tears.  Now I was scared.  What was happening to me?  Why can’t I have sex?

I had researched it after Friday, but now I was sure that I needed to go to the doctor asap. There was no way around it.  My primary couldn’t see me until tomorrow, so I went to urgent care.  I told him what had been going on, and after talking to his doctor (he is a PA), they decided that I needed a ct scan asap (today or tomorrow, depending on when the place could fit me in), to see my primary tomorrow and tell them what’s happening, to see a neurologist asap, no sex, and to take motrin if another headache starts.  Although, they only start with sex, and no sex… so… no motrin.

The diagnosis?  At the moment it’s called a sex headaches.  Pretty simple.  Most of the time they are benign.  No cure, no reason behind it, just something that happens.  BUT, it can also be a warning sign.  A warning sign of an aneurysm, a hemorrhage, or a brain tumor. The medical page I was reading even mentioned that sometimes a small bleed can happen, heal itself, and then reappear later, which could explain why it happened once and then stopped.

I’m scared.  I’m really scared.  I’m sitting here, writing this, but my ears and my attention are on my phone, waiting for a call.  I need that ct scan done.

You know what makes me most upset?  The thought that if this is something serious, that something could happen to me and then I wouldn’t get to see my daughter grow up.  Then I think about how she is so young she wouldn’t even remember me.  Can you imagine? She’s only 1.5, I am her favorite person on the planet, but she wouldn’t remember me. I can’t imagine.

I am so sad.  Please think about me this week, and hope the answer is just that it’s a problem I have to deal with.  I just don’t know what to do at this point.

It might be nothing…