My little one is an eating machine. We are trying to get her onto an every 2-3 hour schedule, but sometimes she will start at 1:00, eat for 30 minutes, sleep/chill for 30 minutes and be ready to do it all over again at 2:00. Apparently they can go through a big growth spurt from 7-14 days old, so I’m thinking this might be what she’s doing right now (8 days old). I don’t mind too much since my breasts are finally starting to adjust to having a little baby on them for hours and hours and hours a day. They are still bleeding and a bit scabby, but compared to a few days ago, they are practically healed. I’m having some trouble with righty, she’s lazy. Lefty is leaking all the time. I can’t wear pads, since they stick to the scabs, but the lactation consultant at the hospital gave me breast shields that keep my nipples puckered and catch the leaking. If I bend over, it leaks all over my shirt. So far this has happened every day. I just can’t seem to remember!
The hemorrhoids and the tears seem to be healing well. I’m still bleeding, but it’s only enough to need a normal pad during the day instead of two lined up going belly button to lower back. Sexy. I’m actually in normal people underwear today! I’ve been in hospital mesh panties for a week, so it’s nice to have my normal stuff on. I also don’t have to use the numbing spray on the nether-regions anymore, or take the oxycodone. I do still take an Ibuprofen each day for back pain, but from the amount of drugs I was on at the hospital to now, it’s a huge change. Let’s me know that I am healing. Oh, and I know most people don’t think this way, but being at the hospital was amazing. The nurses were always ready to help and teach. Going home was a little scary…
Motherhood is scary. I am constantly worried about her. I wake up all night and make sure she is okay. I worry that when we wipe her after a dirty diaper we may not wipe good enough and she’ll get an infection. I worry that her clothes are too hot or too cold. I worry that she’s not eating enough (even after she feeds for 30-40 minutes). I wonder if I’m holding her head stable enough so that I don’t hurt her neck. It’s a crazy time for my brain. I’ve had a few breakdowns with uncontrollable crying, but my husband has been very supportive. He makes sure that when this happens I get a nap in right away. I worry about what life will be like when he goes back to work. I am glad to know that his parents and my parents are only 2.5 hours away if I need them. I’m hoping I can handle it, but I’m worried about taking care of her, and me, and the two dogs all day. I worry. I’m a worrier.
Wifey, Mommy, and What Have You 