If It’s Nothing, Why Does It Feel Like Something?

The CT scan came back and said everything looked fine.  No indication of an aneurysm, brain bleed, or tumor.  I have an appointment on Monday with my general practitioner to go over a few things, like my anxiety (he thinks I’m still taking the anti-depressant – I’m not, thank you Magnesium!), and this will now be included.

So what comes next?  A Neurologist?  What will they do?  Will they tell me the same thing the internet is telling me?  That this is just something that happens and there is no explanation for it?  How can something so horrible come out of nowhere AND have no explanation?

Could it just be that there is something wrong with my muscles?  I suffer from back and neck pain, due to having size H boobs that I have to lug around all day, could the pressure of that be causing tension that happens during sex?  Why is it only during sex?  Does this make any sense?

I’m not going to lie…. being a person with a WAY above average sex drive, and not being able to have sex because it feels like your brain is going to explode, is just bad on all levels.  What the hell am I supposed to do if this is just a thing I have to live with?  How do you live with wanting to cry and scream (not in a fun way) when you have sex with your husband??

I’d like for someone to please call me a whambulance, I will be taking a ride in that thing daily for as long as this continues.  I still wonder if there is something wrong that the ct scan didn’t catch.  Maybe an MRI could?  Will they do one?  Will they tell me to suck it up?  Will going to the chiropractor this week help?  Do I need a breast reduction? (Yes, of course I do, but is it because it will help with this too?)

Blerg.  If anyone needs me, I’ll be watching Friends….

Advertisements