Things And Such

Today I am 3dp3dt (I said I wasn’t going to do that, but I think I might.  Easiest way to share the time frame with everyone).  Today I’ve been pretty tired, noticed that my heartbeat seems harder or maybe fast or something?  I can feel it pulsing through my body when I’m laying down to rest, and walking upstairs leaves me a little winded.  The pressure in my abdomen is also increasing, and I know it’s not because of “going” problems this time.  (Thank you prune juice!)

Are these symptoms?  Nah, way too early for that.  I’m sure it’s just the progesterone talking to me.  I seem to remember feeling this exact way after every IUI, which leaves me worried because I miscarried after one and had my period after two others.  I know the progesterone has continued to keep my breasts sore after injections ended, so all of this other stuff seems like it would be part of the whole shebang.  I know everyone says they wish they could just know what’s happening in there, and that it gets redundant after a while, but I really, really, really wish I could know.   I feel almost like I do before my period starts, except more pressure and less cramping (although there is cramping).  I am bloated like a beast though, so that could definitely explain the pressure.  Maybe in the future they could transfer embryos and then just put you to sleep for two weeks?  That seems like it would work best for mother and embryos.  🙂  Ah, I guess I’ll just wait some more… tick tock, clock! 8 more days…

Soon…

I woke up this morning from a pretty crappy night of sleep.  We visited my family Sunday and Monday and had to sleep in their house.  Their house is full of cigarette smoke and the entire time we are there we feel as if we are being suffocated.  The sad part is that they have no idea how bad it is.  My mother will say “but we haven’t smoked inside in three hours!”  Oh, okay, you’re right… the smoke from the last 29 years probably isn’t just sitting in here, clinging to the walls, the carpet and your skin.  Ugh.  Lost my train of thought….

So, I woke up this morning from a crappy night of sleep and suddenly I remembered that it was Tuesday. TUESDAY people!  I was sure to be waking up on Monday, but that Labor Day break totally got me.  Sneaky holiday.  Well, okay, so it’s Tuesday… which means I only have ONE WEEK until our nursing class! Woo!  I’m hoping that means I can start our medicine for the IVF next Tuesday after the class, but I’m not 100% sure how long I have to be off of the birth control before they will let me start.  I know he mentioned that I might have a slight period between the birth control and medication, but I think he just meant that my body going straight from birth control to medication might confuse it and I will have some bleeding.  Eh?  Maybe I guess.

I’m getting really nervous.  All of the “what if this doesn’t work” thoughts are popping up all over the place.  I’ve been pretty positive up until now, but now the realization is hitting me that I may not ever get pregnant, no matter what we do.  It’s possible.  There are a ton of people out there just like me who have gone through rounds and rounds of IVF with no positive results.  What makes me think I will be one of the lucky ones?  I guess nothing.  Nothing makes me think that.  Damn this logical brain of mine.  I wonder if it’s better to expect the worst or to be completely oblivious to it?  Ah, well, I’m going to keep my happy face on and hope that all goes well!  I just wish I knew a couple PCOS ladies who have had success.  Maybe that would make me feel better?  The only other ladies I know who have done IVF with positive results have been a girl with Endometriosis and a girl with low egg stash.  Not really the same for comparisons sake.. but it will have to do!

Less than a week now! Woo!

Saline and Mock

Well, everything went great today! I was worried for nothing, which does tend to happen.

We started off with a consultation with the doctor.  He is great and I really enjoy him as a person and a doctor.  He went over the procedure again, from the meds to the transfer.  There was something I was surprised to hear though.  I have read and heard that a lot of women who go through IVF are on birth control while they do the meds.  This is the wrong way to go about it.  I mean, each clinic has their own way of doing things, so shouldn’t say it’s wrong, but my doctor pointed out that if you do that, your lining is not growing like it needs to because the birth control won’t let it plump up like it needs to.  Huh.  Wonder why other places have women stay on birth control while they do the meds?

I also learned that he is fearful that because of my PCOS and my past experience with meds for IUI (the first round I was on the lowest recommended starting dose and I produced 9 follicles), he is worried about over-stimulation.  He says there are a few ways to handle that, which will come if and when we need to worry about that, but that might mean I’ll need more monitoring visits.  $300 a pop.  Eep.

I couldn’t get into a nursing class until September 11th.  Kind of stinks because I wanted to start, like, today!  It’s okay though, that will give me time to finish getting rid of this blasted cough!  It still lingers….

The saline showed that I had no cysts on the ovaries and my uterus has nothing strange in it.  He said it looked perfect.  Nice compliment for my baby holder.  Hopefully it will want to hold a baby or two for me.

The Mock also went well.  He had a little trouble with the bend in the catheter to get it to go in nice and smooth, but that is why they do the mock, so that they have the perfect measurements, bends and catheter size for the actual transfer day.  Don’t want any hold ups with your little embryos hanging out in there!

Both the Saline and the Mock gave me some wicked cramps.  I also wasn’t aware of how quickly the saline was going to revisit me.  I peed right after and I thought that should have got rid of the majority of it, but as I was checking out I felt it all come down.  Luckily you could only see it if you were really looking.  And if you were really looking, you’d think I had peed my pants.  Lovely what we go through for babies!

Now I sit here and wait.  I’m going to skip my next period by just continuing onto the next BC pack.  Then after the nursing class, i’ll stop the BC and start the meds.  He said I may bleed a little, but that it would not be a real period and the meds would stop it from coming all the way.  Then after about a week and a half of meds, they will do the egg retrieval.  They said by the time I wake up from the anesthesia, they will know how many eggs were retrieved.  Exciting to know so soon!  By the next morning they will know how many fertilized and by day three they will know how many are looking good.  He said worst case senerio would be that only 2 or 3 are still fertilized and looking alright on day three, and that means they will just go ahead and implant those on day 3.  If we have a lot and they are progressing well, we will do a day 5 transfer.  Let’s hope for a day 5!

Oh, and check out all the free swag I got!  He said it wouldn’t be enough for the cycle, but hey, every little bit helps!  I am very appreciative!