I woke up this morning from a pretty crappy night of sleep.  We visited my family Sunday and Monday and had to sleep in their house.  Their house is full of cigarette smoke and the entire time we are there we feel as if we are being suffocated.  The sad part is that they have no idea how bad it is.  My mother will say “but we haven’t smoked inside in three hours!”  Oh, okay, you’re right… the smoke from the last 29 years probably isn’t just sitting in here, clinging to the walls, the carpet and your skin.  Ugh.  Lost my train of thought….

So, I woke up this morning from a crappy night of sleep and suddenly I remembered that it was Tuesday. TUESDAY people!  I was sure to be waking up on Monday, but that Labor Day break totally got me.  Sneaky holiday.  Well, okay, so it’s Tuesday… which means I only have ONE WEEK until our nursing class! Woo!  I’m hoping that means I can start our medicine for the IVF next Tuesday after the class, but I’m not 100% sure how long I have to be off of the birth control before they will let me start.  I know he mentioned that I might have a slight period between the birth control and medication, but I think he just meant that my body going straight from birth control to medication might confuse it and I will have some bleeding.  Eh?  Maybe I guess.

I’m getting really nervous.  All of the “what if this doesn’t work” thoughts are popping up all over the place.  I’ve been pretty positive up until now, but now the realization is hitting me that I may not ever get pregnant, no matter what we do.  It’s possible.  There are a ton of people out there just like me who have gone through rounds and rounds of IVF with no positive results.  What makes me think I will be one of the lucky ones?  I guess nothing.  Nothing makes me think that.  Damn this logical brain of mine.  I wonder if it’s better to expect the worst or to be completely oblivious to it?  Ah, well, I’m going to keep my happy face on and hope that all goes well!  I just wish I knew a couple PCOS ladies who have had success.  Maybe that would make me feel better?  The only other ladies I know who have done IVF with positive results have been a girl with Endometriosis and a girl with low egg stash.  Not really the same for comparisons sake.. but it will have to do!

Less than a week now! Woo!