No Touchy

I am so uncomfortable.  I will be so happy if this is my last night of injections (other than the trigger shots (yes, shotS (Plural)).  Other than barely being able to wear underwear due to the extreme swelling/bloating in my abdomen, now my breasts (specifically, my thermometers ;)) can barely be touched by my shirt.  Hormones, man, hormones.

I can’t believe I’m nervous about my scan tomorrow too.  It will be 24 hours between today’s and tomorrow’s, yet I’m still worried that something is going to be wrong.  Is this normal?  Should I be this freaked out at all times?  I’m pretty sure it’s normal from what I’ve read on other blogs.

And do you know, in the middle of all this uncomfortable, untouchable, crazy-minded stuff I’m going through… I really miss sex?  We had very careful sex this past weekend, but that was difficult to do because I could feel my ovaries aching.  We were cautious because when we had sex during IUI’s, we must have knocked one of my swollen, droopy ovaries and I ended up on the bathroom floor for 30 minutes thinking I might have to go to the hospital. Ouch.  Yet, I’m still wanting some!  You see, one of my symptoms of PCOS, which is caused by my higher than normal male hormones, is a crazy awesome sex drive.  I’m talking 4-5 times a week is pretty standard.  Now it’s been one time in almost three weeks?  Whew.  Tough times. 😉

If someone had told me growing up that I’d be attempting to make a baby without sex, I would have laughed and laughed… and laughed….

Actually, it is kind of amusing when you think about it…. right?

Lefty Says HEY!

Yesterday I could really feel righty saying “hey,” now it’s lefty screaming “HEY!”  Lefty was doing a tad better than righty on Wednesday.  I’m hoping they are both kicking in to full gear.  It’s just a little over 12 hours before we know the verdict and I’m freaking out.  It’s probably good that my hubby decided to go play cards with the guys tonight.  Not sure I’d be very good company.  The conversation would probably be all about my ovaries and what they are doing.  “Do you think there are more follicles?”  “Do you think they are bigger”  “Do you think we’ll have enough to continue??” “AHHH!!”

Sounds like fun, right?  RUN, HUSBAND, RUUUUN!!  He loves me though, and he has been AMAZING the past few days (and all the years before the past few days) while I’ve been stressed out and crying.  Lots of crying. Sometimes over important things, sometimes because of a TV show… the hormones control the tear ducts.  He is much more in control of things than I am.  He has the ability to say “let’s wait and see how things and going, and then we will start making decisions about our next options.”  I’m more like, “let’s figure every single step out right this second!”  He’s right though.  It’s better to wait until we HAVE to make another decision.  No reason to think the worst before the worst is verified.  He is my rock, my best friend and the love of my life.  I know that whatever comes, we will make it through it together, and that’s all that really matters.

No matter what you go through with infertility, always remember who you are going through it with and how much you love that person.  They are the most important thing in your life, not your infertility.