It’s Been A Long Time

You know, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged.  I thought I’d update everyone who is still using my blog as a place to learn about a girl with PCOS who went through the ringer to get what she wanted.  It’s only fair that I update on what life is like after you get what you want!

To be honest, it’s amazing.  I don’t mean it in a “i’m blogging and I’m putting on my happy face” way either.  It really is amazing… although that doesn’t mean it’s not also tough.  I have a tiny little person who thinks I’m the greatest thing in the whole world.  (I’m not tooting my own horn either, she just spends A LOT of time with me and has become attached).  I’m not complaining…. at this moment.  Sometimes having a 1.5 year old want nothing but mommy 24/7 is hard, no doubt about it.  It’s exhausting, and you WILL consider running away and hiding in the closet.  Then you’ll realize that she can walk now, and she followed you and is actually sitting beside you in the closet.  She’s also saying the word “tiger” over and over again, but you didn’t notice all of that because that is pretty much ten full hours of your day anyway.  Then you laugh and realize this little person is hilarious, and really loves you, and REALLY loves tiger.

The days go on, and they feel the same, but every few days I look at her and she is a different person.  She doesn’t just look different, she knows more.  She is more kid than baby now.  She has a lot of hair (although still a bit lacking on top), her belly is thinning out, her legs are getting longer and stronger, and her face shows expressions of amusement, confusion, boredom, surprise, and anger.  She knows how to tell me what she wants and needs.  She thinks things, and then she says them.  I mean…. come on! What makes a person more of a person than the ability to express thoughts and desires?

I enjoy my days, even though I do call in backup from grandparents, or a little change of scenery with a play date.  On the weekends I have daddy get up and do the breakfast deal, because feeding her is the most frustrating part of my days.  I have no shame.  Mommies need time to themselves, so if I can get it, I’m gonna get it.  You should too, especially if you are a stay at home mom.  You don’t want to get burnt out from your job, there is no quitting this one!

My life is so different.  I feel so happy and so emotional most days.  Some days I feel trapped and frustrated.  Some days I wish the day had ten more hours.  Some days I am done after 30 minutes of getting out of bed.  Would I change anything though?  No…. I wouldn’t.  I get to watch this little human, who is half me, grow and learn and love.  I get to see her face light up when her grandpa walks into the room.  I get to see her dance when a song that catches her ear fills her with her own funky groove.  I get hugs and kisses.

She loves me and I love her, and we are happy and healthy.  Life keeps changing, and I’m going to try to keep you more updated!

Five Weeks

I’ve made it to five weeks!  As far as I know, everything is still progressing well.  Breasts and nipples are sore, nauseous sometimes (depending on what I eat and if I don’t eat soon enough after waking up and between meals), some aching in my back, and tired.  I’m still getting the cramps when I pee (sometimes, not every time) and right before I realize I have gas.  It’s like a little preemptive warning for me “here comes a cramp, be prepared to poot!”  Too much information? Ah, come on, you guys know me by now!

The fact that it’s been five days since I’ve had any sort of testing to verify that things are still progressing is kind of stressful, but this is the way it goes.  Two week waits are the bane of pregnancy.  I think us infertiles should get special, mental treatment.  Right? RIGHT?!

I’m glad I haven’t had anymore of those pubic pains.  Those hurt like a bia, but the three ladies I’ve talked to about it all said they had those pains in early pregnancy.  I also have all of my symptoms and I haven’t had any normal cramping or bleeding, so I’m hopeful that everything is still progressing nicely.

We are telling the in-laws tonight.  They gave us the loan for the treatments, and they know that we are currently doing the treatments, so my husband wants to tell them tonight when they come to visit.  He figured this may be the only time we can surprise them because they are eventually going to ask what’s going on.  His mother has been calling every two days, which is very unusual, and asking how things are going.  My husband is acting oblivious and just saying “fine, how’s it going with you?” haha I’m sure that’s why they are visiting this weekend, she’s tired of his not-answering her underlying question.  Hilarious.

I’m considering starting my belly pictures today.  I can’t keep thinking that this pregnancy isn’t going to work, I need to act like a person who doesn’t have fertility issues and a miscarriage in her past.  I need my mind to be happy and healthy so that my body can be happy and healthy to support this pregnancy.  Easier said than done, maybe, but I’m going to try my hardest!

Oh, and I saw a picture on Pinterest of a girl doing her belly pictures…. she was 18 weeks and smaller than I am now.  Thank you progesterone!  I don’t mind, I think it helps me even more to see a little pooch there already.  I have something to rub.  I feel like I’m my own troll doll.  🙂