No Touchy

I am so uncomfortable.  I will be so happy if this is my last night of injections (other than the trigger shots (yes, shotS (Plural)).  Other than barely being able to wear underwear due to the extreme swelling/bloating in my abdomen, now my breasts (specifically, my thermometers ;)) can barely be touched by my shirt.  Hormones, man, hormones.

I can’t believe I’m nervous about my scan tomorrow too.  It will be 24 hours between today’s and tomorrow’s, yet I’m still worried that something is going to be wrong.  Is this normal?  Should I be this freaked out at all times?  I’m pretty sure it’s normal from what I’ve read on other blogs.

And do you know, in the middle of all this uncomfortable, untouchable, crazy-minded stuff I’m going through… I really miss sex?  We had very careful sex this past weekend, but that was difficult to do because I could feel my ovaries aching.  We were cautious because when we had sex during IUI’s, we must have knocked one of my swollen, droopy ovaries and I ended up on the bathroom floor for 30 minutes thinking I might have to go to the hospital. Ouch.  Yet, I’m still wanting some!  You see, one of my symptoms of PCOS, which is caused by my higher than normal male hormones, is a crazy awesome sex drive.  I’m talking 4-5 times a week is pretty standard.  Now it’s been one time in almost three weeks?  Whew.  Tough times. 😉

If someone had told me growing up that I’d be attempting to make a baby without sex, I would have laughed and laughed… and laughed….

Actually, it is kind of amusing when you think about it…. right?

One More Scan…??

Looks like I should only have one more scan, which will be tomorrow (Tuesday).  I am glad to hear this because every time I go in for a scan it’s $300.  I only had to go in today to make sure I didn’t need to order any more drugs.  From the looks of things, the doctor says I should be good to go with what I have.  He says if I need another round of meds on Tuesday night, then I can just use follistim at a higher dose, since I will be out of Menopur. Cool!  I already spent $4,200 on meds, so I’m glad to not have to spend anymore.  Oh, and I spent $33 (love this price!) on the other drugs… Hydrocodone (for the egg retrieval), Aspirin, Azithromycin (antibiotic), Ondansetron (?? No clue… Guess I’ll have to look back at my papers) and Methylprednisolone (Steroid).  I remember that the antibiotic is to help keep infections away after the retrieval and the steroid is to lower my immune system a little so the implant is more liking to take.  Yikes, what a stash!

So here are the results… Looks like we will have about 6-7 mature follicles by the time the retrieval is done (looking like it will be Thursday).  I really did expect more, but that’s probably because I’m still in my PCOS brain, instead of my DOR brain.  It’s hard to switch over when I’ve been so used to producing follicles like it’s nothing.  Well, the doctor is still happy with the size and he seems to be happy with the amount, but I know he wanted me to have 12.  Hopefully he will at least get 5-6 out during the retrieval.  I’m hoping for at least three to be implantable, but I will be overjoyed if we have at least one.  I cannot believe how stressful this whole process is.  There are just no guarantees, so the longer you go through, the MORE anxious you get.  I thought once I saw maturing follicles, I’d be a little more relaxed.  Wrong!

Next scan is tomorrow morning at 7:30am.  My estrogen level is at 1,253, which is amazing.  So glad that’s going up!  My lining is at 6.6, so it still has a little ways to go, but my estrogen is quite high, so I think it will get there.

Tonight: (Last injections?) 300IU Follistim, 300IU Menopur and one Ganirelix.  (I started the Ganirelix last night and it still burns and makes a nice, red, irritated patch on my skin).

Also, my husband came with me again today.  When I dropped my pants he giggled, got a big smile on his face and starting clapping.  What would I do without him? 🙂

Scan Moved To Monday

My next scan has been move to tomorrow instead of Tuesday.  I emailed the doctor and let him know that I only have enough meds to make it through Monday night, so if I needed more after that, I’d need to know how much on Monday morning so I could get the meds overnighted in time.  He said there would be no way to tell how much more I would need without the next scan, so it was moved to Monday.  No way to reschedule that over the weekend, so we will be a walk in on Monday.  I hope it doesn’t take too long to get seen, I’m already starting to freak out again.  I keep thinking that if I can’t feel my ovaries aching that there is something wrong.  “Are they continuing to grow?” “Did I ovulate early?”  They said to wait until tonight for the Ganirelix, so if I ovulate early it’s their fault and they owe me money for meds next time.  I don’t think it’s a possibility, but who really knows?  I’m just stressed about everything at this point.

We plan on going in as soon as they open tomorrow (7:30) so I’m hoping everyone else is too lazy to go in that early.  I’m hoping for at least 14’s on righty and some 12-13’s on lefty.

Scan #2 – Much Better

I can say that I have never been so nervous to be in the waiting room of my fertility clinic.  I was very glad to have my husband with me this time.  I knew that whatever the verdict was, he’d be there to hold my hand, and that meant the world to me.

We went into the room, I peed, and then I de-pantsed.  My husband thinks me getting naked from the waist down “in public” is hilarious.  I told him it doesn’t count as “in public” because we are in a closed room at a doctors office, but he still laughs and says “I can see your butt!”  This is why I have to have him with me when things are stressful.  He is amazing.

So the nurse comes in to do the ultrasound, and I am happy to say that it is my favorite nurse.  She is fun and positive and just happens to be the one who did my IUI when I got pregnant, so I’ve always had a love for her.  First thing she checked was my lining, which is now up to 6.1 (yay!) and then she checked lefty.  There were probably about five follicles ranging from 9-10.  Not GREAT, but at least they are progressing.  Then on to righty, who was slacking on Wednesday, and righty had about five as well, but they ranged from 10-12.  Fabulous! Progress!  My estrogen has also gone up to 535 (it was 119 on Wednesday). She thinks that today and tomorrow, they should all grow about 2mm a day.  They want them to be around 16-18 for the retrieval.  (I always thought it was 18-22, but maybe that’s for IUI?  Or maybe I was mistaken… it WAS over nine months ago).  Sunday and Monday night I will add the Ganirelix, which will prevent ovulation and slightly slow down the growth, but I imagine they would still grow about a mm a day?  So that should have them all grow about 6mm before my next scan on Tuesday?  I’m hoping that Tuesday they say “take your two trigger shots and we’ll see ya on Thursday!”

My biggest concern is that there are only about ten total that would reach maturity in time.  The doctor seemed to think this was good, but I was hoping for at least 12-15 follicles.  I know how the statistics work, so starting with more follicles would be great, but i’m not going to complain about ten if they think that’s enough to go forward.  I’ve been so worried that they were going to cancel this cycle that I’m just happy to hear that they are happy.

Keep on keeping on, ovaries!  You can do it, follicles!

Must Eat All Of The Things…

So, another side effect i’m noticing is my bottomless pit of a stomach… which seems to want lots of sugar.  I’m also totally exhausted.  Maybe my body is trying to overcome all the tired by eating all of the sugar. Ugh… what a battle.  My stomach is already bloating out enough, I’m sure the extra sugar isn’t going to help.  Bright side?  I am going to rock my sweat pants like you wouldn’t believe!

Worth it though!

When I did my IUI’s last year, I never had pain with any of my injections, except for the Ganirelix and that was just after the injection.  It would burn, itch and turn red at the injection site for 30 minutes to an hour.  But this Menopur + Follistim combo burns as soon as I start the injection… and there is a lot in the injection.  Ouchy.  Also, I’m having bruising from the injections.  They are about an inch long, half an inch wide, and almost rectangular in shape.  They are so weird.  My stomach is going to look pretty neat by the time I’ve done a week and a half worth of injections.  I plan to take a pretty picture once it’s all done.

…I wonder how much it’s going to hurt once I have to add the Ganirelix into the injection.

Worth it though!

Time for bed… I plan to sleep for at least 10 hours… maybe my dogs will be nice to be and let me sleep for 12? 🙂

Almost Belly Jabbing Time!

 

Here is my full stash for my IVF!  2,700 units of Follistim, 30 vials of Menopur, 4 syringes of Ganirelix, 2 syringes of Ovidrel and 48 Progesterone suppositories.  Oh, and a LOT of needles!  Hopefully I’ll need more Progesterone Suppositories eventually though ;).  Box weighed 8lbs! Whew!  That’s a lot of crazy lady drugs right there… wish my husband luck! The jabbing time begins tomorrow around 6:30pm…. dun dun duuuun.

Saline and Mock

Well, everything went great today! I was worried for nothing, which does tend to happen.

We started off with a consultation with the doctor.  He is great and I really enjoy him as a person and a doctor.  He went over the procedure again, from the meds to the transfer.  There was something I was surprised to hear though.  I have read and heard that a lot of women who go through IVF are on birth control while they do the meds.  This is the wrong way to go about it.  I mean, each clinic has their own way of doing things, so shouldn’t say it’s wrong, but my doctor pointed out that if you do that, your lining is not growing like it needs to because the birth control won’t let it plump up like it needs to.  Huh.  Wonder why other places have women stay on birth control while they do the meds?

I also learned that he is fearful that because of my PCOS and my past experience with meds for IUI (the first round I was on the lowest recommended starting dose and I produced 9 follicles), he is worried about over-stimulation.  He says there are a few ways to handle that, which will come if and when we need to worry about that, but that might mean I’ll need more monitoring visits.  $300 a pop.  Eep.

I couldn’t get into a nursing class until September 11th.  Kind of stinks because I wanted to start, like, today!  It’s okay though, that will give me time to finish getting rid of this blasted cough!  It still lingers….

The saline showed that I had no cysts on the ovaries and my uterus has nothing strange in it.  He said it looked perfect.  Nice compliment for my baby holder.  Hopefully it will want to hold a baby or two for me.

The Mock also went well.  He had a little trouble with the bend in the catheter to get it to go in nice and smooth, but that is why they do the mock, so that they have the perfect measurements, bends and catheter size for the actual transfer day.  Don’t want any hold ups with your little embryos hanging out in there!

Both the Saline and the Mock gave me some wicked cramps.  I also wasn’t aware of how quickly the saline was going to revisit me.  I peed right after and I thought that should have got rid of the majority of it, but as I was checking out I felt it all come down.  Luckily you could only see it if you were really looking.  And if you were really looking, you’d think I had peed my pants.  Lovely what we go through for babies!

Now I sit here and wait.  I’m going to skip my next period by just continuing onto the next BC pack.  Then after the nursing class, i’ll stop the BC and start the meds.  He said I may bleed a little, but that it would not be a real period and the meds would stop it from coming all the way.  Then after about a week and a half of meds, they will do the egg retrieval.  They said by the time I wake up from the anesthesia, they will know how many eggs were retrieved.  Exciting to know so soon!  By the next morning they will know how many fertilized and by day three they will know how many are looking good.  He said worst case senerio would be that only 2 or 3 are still fertilized and looking alright on day three, and that means they will just go ahead and implant those on day 3.  If we have a lot and they are progressing well, we will do a day 5 transfer.  Let’s hope for a day 5!

Oh, and check out all the free swag I got!  He said it wouldn’t be enough for the cycle, but hey, every little bit helps!  I am very appreciative!