As I mentioned in my last post, I went to a new OB/GYN today. All the others I’ve been through have been, for lack of a nicer word, morons. Or maybe too busy to care would also be a good way to put it. One gave me very wrong birth control and the other decided that giving me Clomid without first preforming blood work or an HSG would be a good idea. So I took the advice of a friend and went to the practice she goes to.
Of course you have to fill out all the new paperwork. Name, Birth Date, Address, Spouses Name, Date of Last Period, Insurance Information… and then history. Family history and personal. The family history is always full of fun X’s. Hypertension? Yes. Breast Cancer? Yes. Heart Disease? Yes. On and On. My personal history, however, used to be pretty short. High Cholesterol. That was it. No explanation for my high cholesterol except that it was probably genetics. Had my general practitioner been able to properly read hormone levels on my test results, he would have figured out that my high cholesterol was caused by PCOS. He still doesn’t believe that I had PCOS though, even though I’ve been diagnosed by a specialist. He claims that I can’t have PCOS because I’m not overweight. *sigh* Definitely time for a new general practitioner too!… Oops, I’ve lost track….
So, my personal history has always just had High Cholesterol since I was diagnosed five years ago. Now I’ve added PCOS. The PCOS isn’t a big deal, it’s actually nice to know why I have so many things wrong with me. Only having three periods a year, hair on my chin, breasts and stomach, high cholesterol, receding/thinning hairline… yada yada. The thing that was so hard to do was to have to mark “yes” for “Have you had a miscarriage?” Ugh. Talk about a knife in a wound.
I know that knowing that is very important for an OB/GYN, but it was not very easy to fill out that part of the form, and it certainly wasn’t easy to have the question asked again in person by the nurse and again having to answer yes. Sometimes I not only feel sad, but also a little worried that people might not understand why I would be so sad about something that I lost after only knowing about it for four days. Doesn’t that seem silly? I don’t think I should have to feel judged by that, but I do. I know others have lost babies further along and had grown much more attached over the weeks or months, but that shouldn’t make mine any less important, especially since it may be the only pregnancy I ever get to experience. Right?
Well, that’s all over now. Paperwork is filled out and I don’t have to answer any more questions about all that! Let’s just hope that next time I step foot in that office, it’s for my first ultrasound to see an actual baby (or two).