My Permanent Record

As I mentioned in my last post, I went to a new OB/GYN today. All the others I’ve been through have been, for lack of a nicer word, morons.  Or maybe too busy to care would also be a good way to put it.  One gave me very wrong birth control and the other decided that giving me Clomid without first preforming blood work or an HSG would be a good idea.  So I took the advice of a friend and went to the practice she goes to.

Of course you have to fill out all the new paperwork.  Name, Birth Date, Address, Spouses Name, Date of Last Period, Insurance Information… and then history.  Family history and personal.  The family history is always full of fun X’s.  Hypertension? Yes.  Breast Cancer? Yes.  Heart Disease? Yes.  On and On.  My personal history, however, used to be pretty short.  High Cholesterol.  That was it.  No explanation for my high cholesterol except that it was probably genetics.  Had my general practitioner been able to properly read hormone levels on my test results, he would have figured out that my high cholesterol was caused by PCOS.  He still doesn’t believe that I had PCOS though, even though I’ve been diagnosed by a specialist.  He claims that I can’t have PCOS because I’m not overweight. *sigh* Definitely time for a new general practitioner too!… Oops, I’ve lost track….

So, my personal history has always just had High Cholesterol since I was diagnosed five years ago.  Now I’ve added PCOS.  The PCOS isn’t a big deal, it’s actually nice to know why I have so many things wrong with me.  Only having three periods a year, hair on my chin, breasts and stomach, high cholesterol, receding/thinning hairline… yada yada.  The thing that was so hard to do was to have to mark “yes” for “Have you had a miscarriage?”  Ugh.  Talk about a knife in a wound.

I know that knowing that is very important for an OB/GYN, but it was not very easy to fill out that part of the form, and it certainly wasn’t easy to have the question asked again in person by the nurse and again having to answer yes.  Sometimes I not only feel sad, but also a little worried that people might not understand why I would be so sad about something that I lost after only knowing about it for four days.  Doesn’t that seem silly?  I don’t think I should have to feel judged by that, but I do.  I know others have lost babies further along and had grown much more attached over the weeks or months, but that shouldn’t make mine any less important, especially since it may be the only pregnancy I ever get to experience.  Right?

Well, that’s all over now.  Paperwork is filled out and I don’t have to answer any more questions about all that!  Let’s just hope that next time I step foot in that office, it’s for my first ultrasound to see an actual baby (or two).


10 thoughts on “My Permanent Record

  1. I have high(ish) cholesterol, too. It runs on my dad’s side of the family, which is also the side of the family with female infertility. Definitely no coincidence there!

    How frustrating that you’ve had so many bad doctors. It seems like so many are not interested in getting at the root of the problem. They just ply their patients with Clomid without adequate testing and don’t make connections between certain diseases/health problems and hormonal disorders. I partly blame the fact that they are only given such a short amount of time to spend with each patient. How sad- that’s not enough time to explore options and find out about specifics.

    I’m really glad you found a good doctor! And I’m sorry about your miscarriage. You have every right to grieve it. I admit that I used to not understand the grief involved in a miscarriage, but now that I’m trying to get pregnant, I can see how it would be awful, especially when you’ve been trying for a long time. It would be euphoria, followed by heartache.

    I also hope that the next time you set foot in that office, it’s for happy reasons!

    • It really is sad about all the bad doctors. I hate to give up on them all, but time and again they have been disappointing. I mean, it’s really upsetting to know what kind of damage could have been done if I had had a blocked tube and was given Clomid. Makes me angry all over again to think about. …And my general practitioner is only one guy with only a few patients! Actually, maybe that should have been my sign? He probably shouldn’t have so many open appointments everyday!
      Thank you for your thoughts! I hope that you get a beautiful baby, or two, or three for yourself!
      I sure didn’t think it would be this hard to make a baby when they were going over it in health class in high school. 😉

    • Yes, I am going to an RE at a fertility clinic for the IVF. He is amazing! Unfortunately, I have to see a regular OB/GYN for all the normal stuff. I wish my RE was my doctor for everything, but he probably isn’t qualified to fill cavities or diagnose strep throat… haha

      • Oh ok…I know a lot of girls who see their gyn for fertility when they should see an RE…I so get the high cholesterol…I have always been on the higher side and I have had to really keep track of what I eat so it doesnt go above the normal range…I really hope the next time you go its for the ultrasound 🙂

      • I learned my lesson about going to an OB/GYN for fertility stuff. Ugh, what a horrible idea! They have no idea what they are doing, and you really think they would!
        Thanks for the hope! 🙂

  2. A miscarriage hurts no matter if you are a day pregnant or 8 months pregnant. It all hurts and no one should judge you for feeling sad about it. Shame on them. Every pregnancy is important and special.

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