Daddy is currently “playing” (holding baby girl while she sleeps) with the baby, so I thought I’d hop on and let you all know that we are all doing great! The no sleep thing is kind of nuts, to be honest, but I just can’t seem to mind when I know that it’s for my little girl. Especially the hour or so a night where she just looks at me. No squirming, no eating, no noises…. she’s just looking at me. That is when we have our deepest conversations.
She hates the bassinet…. or anything that requires her to not be held. That girl LOVES to be held. She will only sleep if she is being cuddled in bed by me. I’m not a fan of co-sleeping, but while she’s so little I just can’t let her cry and be upset. That will probably change, but for now I am going to do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my little love. Oh, and for those of you who are currently pregnant… the love you feel is instant. As soon as you see their tiny, naked, goo-covered body, you instantly fall in love. A deep love too… totally different from anything you’ve ever known. It’s amazing. So, for those of you who are still going through this insanity of infertility… please keep trying. Don’t give up hope and think it’s not for you. This IS for you, and I wish it for you more than I wish for anything else.
Now, cluster feeding. I always thought that happened once your milk came in, but I was wrong. She’s been cluster feeding since night two (it’s only been three nights… although it feels like it’s been a couple weeks already). It’s very hard on the sleep and the nipples. The nipples….. they are hard and sore and may never be the same again, but I know it could be worse. The lactation consultant saved my arse. If I had gone home doing what I was doing, I would have been in so much pain. Talk to those ladies! They know what they are doing!
Okay, I will now leave you with a picture of my cankles…. which came AFTER delivery. It’s normal apparently. I wish I could say it’s the worst pain I’m experiencing… but that would have to be the pain from the stitches from the TWO tears… ouchy.
For those of you wondering what her name is, I’m sorry but I won’t be posting it on this blog. It’s somewhat unusual and I’m scared that a Google search of the name will lead people here. As soon as I have lots of free time, I plan on updating my blog with my real name and information. It’s all about my new life as a mom. It will feature everything except information on my infertility. As soon as that is updated and ready to go, I will let those of you who are curious know how to find me. Then you can hear all about her and her loveliness… and me trying to figure out how to do this mommy thing!
Thank you to everyone who shared so much love with me on my last entry! I plan on messaging you all back, but it will have to wait until next time!